


love through touches

by orphan_account



Series: ceo!au - sekai [3]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings, Romance, you can say a little bit angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 10:58:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7799125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jongin had the habit to touch himself, sometimes unconsciously, sometimes consciously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	love through touches

**Author's Note:**

> first the warning: a lot of typos and grammar mistakes(nonsense too)
> 
> second: this had to be shameless porn until the moment i put plot after the first sentence and this end up like some emotional mess in which i couldn't bring myself to put the porn. i just hope you'll like it, because i had fun writing it and also i finally did another part in the ceo!au too!!! anyways enjoy it :))

Jongin had the habit to touch himself, sometimes unconsciously, sometimes consciously.

Sehun had known since the beginning of their fling that Jongin was the man of the art, of the feelings, the passion and the desperate need to improve until he doesn’t break a bone. Unfortunately a real bone, with real crack and actual visit to the hospital and making Joohyun be worried enough to call Sehun almost crying over the phone that possibly Jongin had broken his back too.

Sehun acting as the mature man he was, literally apologized for his urgent need to walk out of the very important meeting he had about contracts in expanding the connections his company had with smaller or bigger fellow companies with the brightest excuse of:

“I’m so sorry, my dog, he had choked on something and had fallen down from the balcony. My secretary called me and said his condition is critical, I need to visit him. If you excuse me, can we continue this meeting another time?”

To make it more believable, Sehun let out a fake tear of sorrow and small sniff with the most desperate expression he could master, and he wasn’t surprised when he noticed the pitiful looks he earned with his act and encouragement words about how he should go and later they can continue their talk. 

At moments like this, Sehun wondered why he never pursued a career in acting instead of managing a company. But these thoughts were for another time and he was one step away from cursing Jongin and his recklessness. Just yesterday, they’d spoken how Jongin should be more careful, especially because he was selling his body as model and he needed to be presentable as CEO too.

Sehun walked through the hospital and went to the registration where he asked for Kim Jongin, but they said there wasn’t a name as this one but there was Oh Jongin who was admitted today as emergency with a petite woman and Sehun nodded, remembering the room number the young nurse told him and he walked for searching it. Oh Jongin, since when Jongin had been using his name for things like this, or maybe it was Joohyun.

He couldn’t think much over it, not when he was so desperate in seeing Jongin’s condition himself and he noticed Joohyun leaning on the wall of the corridor, drinking something and she seemed too entertained for someone who called him over the phone crying.

“So Vivi is dying?” She greeted him and Sehun was going to ask what she meant when she kept on speaking. “Chanyeol had told me with details how good you have been in the act. I guess you should be an actor too and not only director.” Sehun rolled his eyes and slightly punched her shoulder making her laugh.

“If Jongin is Vivi then the both must be close to dying, how’s Oh Jongin?” He asked and winked at Joohyun who almost choked on her drink.

“Did he actually said his name is Oh Jongin?” Sehun nodded and Joohyun groaned. “I knew this guy was sick in the head. Anyways, it wasn’t anything serious, I was blackmailed in not going on my small holiday with Seulgi next month if I didn’t make you come here as fast as you can so I had to act too.”

“Since when going there with Seulgi is more important than my sanity?” Sehun questioned although he knew that Joohyun was quite happy with her relationship and Seulgi was a good girl, so honestly if Jongin wasn’t so hard to deal with Sehun would have been less sarcastic in the whole thing to begin with.

“Since she said she would be free too and not modeling. Jongin said he’ll make sure she stays free if I do it, if not I’ll not see her for month. So I love you, Hun-ah, but I love Seulgi more.”

Sehun laughed at this and nodded, he knew where she was coming from and honestly Sehun wished his life was better and easier but he had to go inside the room and probably scold Jongin, because using his name like this wasn’t right and also he actually made him worry about him.

“Should I punch him or should I kick him?” Sehun asked teasing and Joohyun rolled her eyes.

“Kiss him, even though he doesn’t deserve it, he needs it.” She winked at Sehun and started to walk away. “I’m gonna make sure everyone knows you’re taking care of Vivi tomorrow!” She spoke loudly, waving her head while getting ready to leave and Sehun laughed. 

“I own you again!” he shouted back and Joohyun giggled loud enough for him to hear and know that indeed he did own her.

Sehun stepped inside the room a moment after he saw Joohyun disappearing at the corner, turning right and probably calling Seulgi telling her the good news. Unfortunately, for Jongin, he couldn’t get a kiss, instead Sehun glared at his lover on the bed. Jongin looked pale, his right leg was up, probably broken and with a big cast reaching his knee, from what Sehun could see, Jongin had something wrapped around his waist.

“So how much you broke this time?” Sehun asked with heavy voice and closed the door behind him, Jongin jumped and sighed with relief when he realized who was in his room.

“Almost broke my right ankle, and my waist isn’t steady but nothing too broken and unable to be healed fully, in couple of weeks.” Jongin gave a tired smile at Sehun and patted the bed.

“You blackmailed Joohyun and I had to leave the meeting with a ridiculous excuse, so what you own me right now is explanation why I have my boyfriend in the hospital, pale and looking like ghost.”

Sehun knew that probably now wasn’t the time to speak with Jongin about this, but the latter was getting reckless and Sehun wasn’t ready to handle something more than simple small broken bones. What if Jongin did something to his back, his back had always been a weak place, and end up unable to walk? Sehun feared that Jongin would bury his youth because of his recklessness and passion.

“I just wanted you to be here, I guess you know I used your name too, I’m sorry.” Jongin didn’t sound sorry at all, in fact he was angry and his eyes were on Sehun. “You know I love to dance and I want to be the best at it as much as I can. Just because I stepped not right and lost balance, it doesn’t mean that I’ll die and I just needed my boyfriend here with me.”

“Do you know how worried I was?” Sehun almost shouted but he knew he was in no position to let his temper to take the best of him right now and also Jongin looked tired, either because he was inside the hospital or because he was tired from Sehun, in both cases the latter wasn’t entertained from the idea to fight with Jongin further.

“Were you?” Jongin mumbled but then sighed. “I can go back home today, would you drive me? Or I have to call someone else to do the job?”

“I will, I’m going to buy something to eat, do you want something?” Jongin shook his head and turned away to watch some cooking show which was on the TV in his room. Sehun was close to groan and comment on how Jongin was acting childish, but Sehun could guess, he didn’t act as mature as he should either.

Sehun brought food for both of them, took couple of hot drinks and juices so that he could at least make the stay of Jongin enjoyable, although neither of them spoke. Jongin was busy avoiding Sehun and Sehun tried to distract himself from the messages on his phone or the calls, or simply from the thought that Jongin probably disliked him right now, while his company was on verge of disaster because their CEO was gone suddenly without giving proper orders.

Joohyun’s call was Sehun’s final drop of patience and he picked up, moving towards the windows, hoping that Jongin’s attention wouldn’t be on him. As much as Sehun was annoyed with Jongin, he knew the latter needed rest. However, Sehun knew his shoulders were tense, he was too nervous and as much as he loved Jongin, right now he couldn’t be good enough.

“What is it?” he asked with quiet voice, but from the groan Joohyun let out he knew it was bad. 

“Well, I never thought the company is so dependable on you as I realized now.” Joohyun started. “I would love to be helpful but almost everyone is messing around their tasks, apparently some of the papers didn’t reach to the receivers and there are couple of the new girls having panic attacks because you might fire them…”

“Since they have sent the papers?” Sehun made a lucky guess because Joohyun hissed and sighed.

“Yes, so I tried to handle them, pretty much checked the papers, called around and apparently they had written wrong addresses and everything should be done again, after I apologized to the people with the delay and the bad impression we do right now.” Joohyun stopped for a moment and Sehun waited what she was going to say. “I believe you should contact them, through the phone and possibly visit them later, because the papers were about the newest contracts with the foreign companies.”

“I see.” Sehun sighed and leaned more on the glass of the window and put his hand over his eyes. “Would you send me their numbers? I will call them right away and also go to my office and check the folder with today’s date on the desktop.”

“What is there?” Joohyun asked slightly breathless, so Sehun could guessed that she was walking towards his office.

“The things which should have been done today and by whom.” Sehun explained. “I had done it yesterday, but forgot to print them or to say anything the morning when I arrived, since I was anxious about today’s meeting. Check it out, and whatever can be repaired from this mess with it, do it. The others, I’ll handle them tomorrow.”

“I told you I will say you’re sick, you just send me e-mail…”

“No, I have no work to say at home.” Sehun said slightly bitterly. “And if I have to apologize, I should better know for what…”

“Sehun, you’re director, you don’t need to be so humble and you don’t have to bow to anyone.” Joohyun had reminded him this for long time, however, she didn’t know the small trips Sehun had while he was in the position he is now and he couldn’t let it slip.

“I will bow as much as I need to. There are people who wait for me to make one wrong step to take my position or make sure the company is over, so I do not want to risk anything, neither to disappoint anyone.”

“I understand. I will see what I can do.”

With this the conversation was over and Sehun was going to buy Joohyun a coffee with her favorite dessert, once he asked Seulgi about it, and apologize for his behavior. He knew Joohyun just cared for him, but sometimes he wanted to point out where his position was and that he did not deserve it as simply as many thought.

For a moment, he had forgotten that he was in the hospital with Jongin, so when he removed his hand from his face and put his phone back in his pant’s pocket and turned around, he realized that Jongin was looking at him with a mix of worry and guilt which unnerved Sehun further. He didn’t want to speak about this, not with Jongin.

“Is everything okay?” Jongin asked and Sehun nodded and sat on the chair which was put in the corner, not making the effort to move closer to Jongin.

“Dandy, and perfect, all cherry blossoms and love.” Sehun replied sarcastically and felt his phone to vibrate. “I’m sorry, I will walk out to make couple of calls, I will be back to drive you back home.”

Jongin only nodded, without asking anything but his eyes were on Sehun and he felt slightly guilty for his childish reaction earlier. But he wanted Sehun to love him and take care of him, especially because both of them were too busy these days. However, he could say that he had done something wrong.

Actually two hours had passed since Sehun left the room and Jongin was anxiously waiting for him to come back. Couple of thoughts had passed through his head, one of which was how badly Sehun was feeling humiliated to bow down for something which wasn’t his fault and how he should agree with things which would seem ridiculous. Also Jongin was told that he would be signed out from the hospital in couple of hours and he could go home. He wondered if Sehun would come to pick him up.

Surprisingly, Sehun walked into the room right when the nurses came to prepare Jongin to stand up and put his clothes on and go home with wheelchair because his left leg should rest too although it wasn’t harmed and Sehun then smiled at the nurses, doing a deep bow and thanking them. Jongin didn’t miss how the women blushed and smiled lovely at Sehun who seemed so serious and grateful. He probably was, but Jongin realized it too late.

“You enjoy even the smallest things.” Jongin whispered when Sehun helped him sit in the passenger’s seat and Sehun chuckled at the comment.

“I do, it’s just too hard for you to understand me.” it wasn’t an angry remark, it was the truth. Jongin never thoughts too much over what Sehun liked, he was slightly selfish but he believed that sooner or later he would learn the small details on his own. And he did, but he couldn’t understand them, or accept them, Jongin concluded.

“How can I understand you then?” Jongin asked right before Sehun closed his door and walked to sit on the driver’s seat. For a moment Jongin wondered if Sehun heard him.

“Pay more attention to me and you’ll know.” Sehun replied quietly and Jongin nodded. He didn’t know what else he should say and from the dark look on Sehun’s face, Jongin knew now it wasn’t the time when they had to speak about their relationship.

Jongin knew that Sehun loved him, very much so, deep and genuine love. Jongin had doubted Sehun enough but now he knew that the man meant every word he said, every action towards Jongin was in order to keep their relationship and not break it, even when Jongin could disagree, he knew that probably if he was in Sehun’s position he would do the same. Unfortunately, Jongin never was and he would never be in Sehun’s position.

However, a plan grew into Jongin’s head while Sehun drove them home. The doctors told Jongin that he needed two weeks to be healed fully, two weeks rest at home and two weeks time to be around Sehun, in their home, paying attention to his lover and later show how much Jongin wished everything between them to work. Especially because both of them were too different, Sehun might have told Jongin how much he loved him, however, Jongin doubted that Sehun knew how much Jongin’s heart hurt him when he could see the doubt in Sehun’s eyes.

Two weeks, Jongin would think a way to show how much Sehun meant for him and for two weeks he would make a decision which can change everything between them, Jongin’s life and Sehun’s thoughts about their relationship. Jongin knew that something like this, could even lean to their break up. But he knew that nothing would change if Jongin didn’t try it.

Surprisingly two weeks were too long, too painful in a way with the constant tries of Jongin to figure out Sehun, even when the latter was too busy with his company. Two tiring because Taemin had to come and help him visit the hospital for check-ups and also because his best friend was worried about Jongin and the lack of whining about his sex life.

“You act strange, you’re not a brat and close to two weeks you haven’t whined at me for anything.” Taemin commented when both of them walked through a small family cafe where they ordered some coffee and cookies to enjoy their afternoon before Taemin was driving Jongin home.

“I try to be good boyfriend.” Jongin replied and Taemin almost coughed.

“Are you trying to act like virgin because then, I think you’ve hit your head too.” Taemin commented teasingly and punched Jongin’s shoulder slightly.

“No, I just want to be nice to Sehun, you know. I never put my attention on him although I demanded his all the time.”

“Dude, you keep your eyes on him all the time, he even confessed to you like you’re his destiny and you accepted him, I don’t see where you’re coming from with all the decisions and keeping attention.” Taemin was frowning now, he didn’t know what he should make from Jongin’s decisions.

“I act immature.” Jongin sighed. “I just want to be more serious about things. Sehun bows down because of his workers, because they did something wrong and he does deep bows without keeping his pride in order to protect his own company and the people under him. I don’t even go to meetings because I don’t give a fuck.”

“You’re not this type of a man.” Taemin spoke calmly.

“Yes, because I’m rich fucker who doesn’t understand anything.”

“Is that Sehun’s words? Or you think that’s what he meant when he said you don’t understand?”

“What I thought he meant, but this isn’t the point…”

“Actually it is.” Jongin snapped his head up to look at his friend who seemed serious once again. “Listen, Sehun didn’t mean anything of this, he, in fact loves you like this. He had bowed down for you too, you know. When people were going to say things about you when you forgot the answers to some of the questions people asked you on conferences. He spoke only good things of you, he said how busy you are that you can easily forget things. He had stepped for you more than he did for his company because he wants you to be happy. He said you don’t understand because you don’t know how much he loves you and how much his words towards you meant for him. Sehun doesn’t love you for the sake of loving you, Jongin. Sehun loves you in a way that he doesn’t care what happens with him as long as you’re not harmed. This is why when you use Oh Jongin is bad. Because people will bad mouth you too and not only Sehun in pushing his dirty way to you.”

“He’s no dirty way.” Jongin frowned.

“He hasn’t but people don’t see it like this.” Taemin sighed. “If you tried to understand his poor kind of thinking for the past week, then you’re more simple minded than I thought you are. Let me drive you home.”

Jongin didn’t say anything, what he could say anyways. Taemin had made it clearly that Jongin had been misunderstanding and actually trying to put some kind of cliche ideals in between everything else, not thinking deeply into what Sehun had said and his actions. 

“What should I do?” Jongin asked when Taemin parked the car in front of the building where Jongin and Sehun were living together, the flat was Sehun’s since he made it clear that if someone would be moving, it would be Jongin and the latter never thought of it.

“Nothing too Jongin.” Taemin gave him a short smile. “Don’t push him, don’t make him admit everything because he won’t, he’s too prideful even though he can gulp it down. Just show him that you’re ready to do this for him too, to sacrifice your own perfect life for someone like Sehun. Just show him that you love him for who he is and not because he is hot and you want him in your bed as you did. And please do not dress as a woman again, this will be a fail.”

“Pretty much you want me to speak?” Jongin frowned, he believed that he was never the one good in the actions, neither was he easy to explain what exactly he was feeling. He had always used his body when it came to his lovers and he hoped that it would work now too, but Taemin made him doubt it.

“Speaking isn’t so bad, you know? Sometimes it’s more beneficial than taking your clothes off and spreading your legs. So do it. Or if it’s too hard, you can make them both, but speak. Tell him what you think and let him choose what he wants.”

“You make it as if we’re going to break up…” Jongin mumbled and actually flinched when he realized the look Taemin gave him, the slight disappointment in his eyes made Jongin feel smaller.

“And you aren’t close to it?” Taemin sighed and motioned with his head for Jongin to go inside the building. “You have time, think of it and please start noticing the details.”

“Yeah…” Jongin said as a sigh and walked out of the car. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay, now go before someone decides I kidnapped their lover.” Taemin winked at Jongin and drove away, but Jongin kept feeling uneasy.

He had thought that he had been a great lover, in bed, in relationship, in everything. Sure, he was a little bit demanding about their sex life and how he had kinks he wished to try and loved to spend time in bed, sweaty and moaning, but he was left with the expression that Sehun didn’t mind any of this. Sometimes Jongin was scolded but not even once Sehun pushed him actually away or avoided him.

Jongin wished to go on dates, to be active in the relationship, to see new things and to be on vacations and sometimes he wanted to brag about his relationship. He was fine, until recently, happy and content because Sehun had told him that he loved him, that he wanted Jongin in his life and Jongin thought that this is enough. They were working fine together, pushing and pulling, loving, passionate, in each other’s hands, but probably Jongin was wrong.

After his conversation with Taemin, Jongin realized that the small kisses they shared even when both were tired never happened anymore. Sehun looked worn out, he was simply checking on Jongin, asking him basic questions about how he was feeling or how his back and waist were. No loving touches, no longing looks, Sehun acted as if Jongin was only a friend with whom he was living with and not a lover. Jongin felt his heart breaking only from the thought that maybe these days Sehun would walk to him and ask about their break up.

Jongin finally started to notice things once he stopped thinking about his own whereabouts but actually put his attention fully on Sehun. His lover was tired, too tired, he barely could stay awake but he still replied to his emails, he picked up his phone with almost cheerful and collected voice, not showing how he was close to falling asleep while standing. And for once Jongin felt very bad for Sehun and the fact that Jongin probably would never understand through what Sehun was going through.

Jongin decided that calling Joohyun who texted him that he should find job for Seulgi since they wouldn’t be able to go on the holiday, made Jongin feel slightly worried. Both Joohyun and Seulgi were happy about their free time together, but apparently Joohyun didn’t have the heart to let Sehun be alone.

“Hey, Joohyun, I know it’s late…”

“Listen, I never liked you and I still don’t like you.” Joohyun spoke over the phone without letting Jongin finish his speech and Jongin stayed frozen, he knew her feelings for him but he never thought that he’ll be greeted like this even now.

“I know this?” Jongin asked unsure of what else to say and Joohyun sighed over the phone.

“I don’t know for how long your fight with Sehun will stay and I don’t care, as long Sehun can actually sleep, eat and be healthy, and believe me he’s doing none of these things right. The company is a mess, he’s close to collapsing and I’m sure you just started to notice this.” Joohyun hissed at someone to pick her papers and get away from her. “My point is, if you’re acting like a fucked up boyfriend, you better leave Sehun right now, because he doesn’t need someone like you in his life. And no, I’m not sorry for my language. I’m too tired.”

“What should I do?” Jongin asked with small voice, he had just heard how Sehun had gone into the bathroom and probably taking a long shower or bath.

“Don’t you know him?” Joohyun almost shouted through the phone. “First, tell him he’s taking a day off tomorrow. Secondly, show him how much you love him, how you appreciate him and how much he means for you. But, Jongin, if you fake any of these things, I know enough to make sure your beloved IT company and you model career to shatter in pieces. Trust me, Sehun knows a lot of things too and he’ll never use them, however, I’m not as nice as him and I love him too much to let him be with someone like you.” 

“Why are you not with him then?” Jongin knew that Joohyun was feeling something towards Sehun and Jongin knew the feeling was almost mutual because of their interactions and their simple conversations. But Jongin never dared to ask, not until now.

“Because he wants someone else and I love Seulgi too much to break her heart like this.” Joohyun sighed. “Listen, just make him relax if you can’t make your relationship better. Make him rest and just let him feel at home, because from what I can see, he’s too tense and worried about everything.”

“So only tomorrow is a free day?” 

“I can’t give him more, if he’s missing our company will fall.” Jongin could hear how regretful Joohyun was and Jongin nodded to himself.

“Okay, I’ll try my best.”

“I hope you will. Don’t disappoint me again, Kim Jongin.” and with this she cut the call, making Jongin to feel even worse than he was moments ago.

He started to think and even overthink how he should approach Sehun, how to speak with him, how to explain that he was acting stupid, immature, childlike and never bothered to think what was running into Sehun’s mind. Jongin was a brat, he was selfish and he just wanted Sehun for himself, but he didn’t even bother to think that with all this, there was coming something else. Sehun might love him until the end of the world, but if they never spoke, never shared their thoughts and they end up arguing or never bothering to reach each other, then all this was meaningless.

So Jongin acted as he was usually did, seducing Sehun.

He knew Taemin would be disappointed, Joohyun might be ready to kill him without a blink of her eyes, but Jongin didn’t know what else to do. He had approached Sehun for the first time with seducing him, their relationship started because of the sex, so now, Jongin was going to try his luck again. Either he was going to win or he was going to lose Sehun.

Jongin put on a playlist with slow sensual songs and he moved the sofas in the living room to let him have more space. He knew Sehun’s habit of sitting in the living room after he took a bath and then go to sleep. So Jongin planned to make the best of it. 

Touching himself, while he was dancing was something which Jongin liked to do, when he did it consciously, that’s it. Sometimes he was touching places only because the music was giving him the right feelings or he wanted to move his body with touch of passion in it, either way, Jongin was moving his hips with the song playing, his hands were roaming his body. Jongin was turning around, leaning his head back, while he was closing his eyes, trying to get the best of the rhythm coming with the songs.

Jongin wasn’t healthy enough to fast as he usually did, with fast beat and strong moves, so he kept on moving slowly and he hoped the fact that he did not put much weight on his injured leg won’t make it seem bad. Jongin wanted to have Sehun’s attention through his body instead of calling him out. He had two reasons for doing this. One: he didn’t know what to say without sounding mean or angry or disappointed. Two: if Sehun actually looked at him now, probably their relationship wasn’t as strained as Taemin said and seemed right now.

Jongin felt a shiver of anxiety to run through him once Sehun opened the bathroom’s door and walked out towards the living room as Jongin guessed and in fact knew he would do. Jongin closed his eyes, he was worried to look at Sehun now and he kept on dancing, trying to seem deep into the tones, while his hands were running all over his body, until his right hand didn’t stop right on his inner thigh and his thumb gently touched the bulge above. Jongin let out a wanton sigh and he knew that his body was facing Sehun, who was still quiet.

But then a dark thought made Jongin to open his eyes, looking slightly alarmed. What if Sehun had left him? This thought scared him but when he looked ahead he noticed Sehun, looking tired as moments ago, looking at him carefully, his eyes moving all over Jongin’s body and this made Jongin relax.

“I’ve forgotten how beautiful you are while dancing.” Sehun whispered and turned to sit down on the sofa, groaning once he met the warm surface. 

“Did you miss looking at me while I’m dancing?” Jongin asked with quiet voice and kept moving his hips, his left hand was pushing his hair back while his right moved towards his chest.

“I did, a lot, actually. I’m happy you recovered.” Sehun replied, he had leaned his head back on the sofa, his eyes half lidded but keeping check on Jongin and the latter knew he had grabbed Sehun’s attention.

“I love you.” Jongin said, he noticed the change in Sehun’s face, the slight shock from the sudden confession. “I miss you.” he said a moment later.

“Are you saying this because you want to have sex with me?” Sehun asked with gentle chuckle and put a hand over his face, again as he did in the hospital and this Jongin knew meant that Sehun was worried, scared or probably both at once.

“I don’t want to have sex with you.” The reply made Sehun to tense even more. “I want to make love with you. I don’t do sex with you, Sehun, I haven’t done this for a while now.”

“Why are you saying this?” Sehun kept the small voice but this time he looked at Jongin, again, once he removed his hand from his face and put it on his forehead.

“Because I realized I will never understand you and your need to protect everything dear to you, even if it meant to slowly kill yourself.” Jongin moved closer to Sehun, still moving with the music. “Because I know you love me enough to risk your own career and I know that you won’t leave me because you want to, but because you think it’s the right thing to do.” Jongin moved even closer, his legs touching Sehun’s knees. “I’m saying this because I kept the last two weeks for myself and I wanted to figure you out, but I will never be able to. However, I know that I know you, I know your habits, I know what you like, I know how much sleep you need to be good, I know how much you love kissing me and I know when you avoid me.”

“Jongin, I….”

“No, listen, you confessed to me, you made me feel the happiest man on this earth and you made me feel every piece of your love, but I tried to take you for granted and I acted immature because I decided that I need your attention.” Jongin slowly moved to straddle Sehun and he was glad that Sehun reacted on time and put his palms on Jongin’s hips to make sure he would be stable.

“I don’t need your apologizes…” Sehun started again but Jongin pecked his lips in order to silence him.

“I won’t be apologizing because I was right for myself.” Sehun’s eyes widened with this, the curiosity was obvious too. “I want us to be happy, but I want us to share each other troubles. I will be less immature, and you should be more open with me, even without arguing with each other. When I don’t understand you, make me understand. If I want something too much from you, tell me, explain it to me and then let me be. Don’t leave me, don’t avoid me. Because you have no idea how much this relationship we have right now kills me, but I’m desperate because I want you.”

Jongin knew that he probably spoke too fast, ranting and probably speaking things he should have said. Not now, not when he wasn’t even sure where his relationship with Sehun was going, but he knew that every word he said, he meant it. He knew that Sehun would know this too. He knew Sehun would understand. The thing was if he was going to accept Jongin.

“I want you to be more serious.” Sehun mumbled and pulled Jongin closer to him, leaning his forehead on Jongin’s shoulder. “I want you to work more in your company, because I have been saving your ass for too long there.” Jongin chuckled at this, he was sure something was happening for him to be less called. “I want you to be more protective over us, I don’t want us both to be a secret, you know this, but I don’t wish you or anyone to be hurt and hated simply because we would do something wrong.”

“I know this and I don’t want you being hurt too.” Jongin turned and spoke into Sehun’s hair while giving it a kiss.

“Also I want you to be more careful. I was so panicked when Joohyun called me that you’re in the hospital, I thought I might be losing you and I do not want that.” Sehun spoke with heavy voice and started to kiss Jongin’s neck.

“I won’t play with you like this.” Jongin promised and he meant it. After the last incident, he didn’t want to see Sehun as troubled as he was then.

“Thank you.” Sehun whispered against Jongin’s ear and start kissing his jaw.

“Joohyun said that tomorrow will be your day off.” Sehun chuckled and pulled Jongin closer. “However, I want you to sleep. I will sleep with you, in the same bed, only sleeping and dreaming.” Jongin demanded and pushed Sehun away gentle, meeting his eyes.

“I don’t know when…”

“You’ll be free soon, I called the company, from next week after my last check up I will be working there.” Jongin gave a look at Sehun who chuckled. “I mean it and you will have less work. We might go on some actual holiday for a while.”

“Is that another promise?” Sehun teased.

“You must be sure of it.” Jongin kissed Sehun’s nose and stood up, taking Sehun’s hand in his. “Come on, you need to sleep, tomorrow we can go out on a date.”

“I will count on you then.” Sehun said with a yawned and didn’t protest when Jongin pushed him on the bed and cuddled him a moment later.

“I love you.” Jongin spoke quietly into Sehun’s hair a moment later and he was replied with a small snore and Sehun moved his head closer to Jongin’s chest.

Sehun could be cute once in awhile too, Jongin concluded with a breathless chuckle.


End file.
